On the Phrases in "Shame & Redemption" - Part 3

I started my current WIP, "Shame & Redemption" about 2 years ago with the left phrase. Since then, it has developed into an amazing, profound, and powerful work.

The shame phrase reads "picking quarrels & provoking troubles." (As I was told by a family member some years back.)

The redemption one reads "If someone steals your thunder, you steal it right back!" (Someone tweeted this statement made by an unnamed 7 year old child.)

But as these relate to "Shame & Redemption": are you *really* picking quarrels and provoking troubles? Or are you standing your ground, keeping your boundaries firm, and not letting someone else steal your thunder? Maybe they're just mad that they can't get you to stand down, so they gaslight you.