On the Phrases in "Shame & Redemption" - Part 2

As I continue my work on my magnum opus, "Shame & Redemption," I reflect on the relationship between the two.

The "Shame" phrase reads, "Once a scapegoat, always a black sheep (baaa)."

The " Redemption" phrase reads, "Say " No! " to narcissists."

The link between scapegoats and narcissism has long been studied. A quick search, whether on Instagram (for quick bites) or a web search (for longer articles) will result in both anecdotal and scholarly explanations of the link between the two.

Scapegoating children in narcissistic families is common. The lifelong consequences are notable because those children become black sheep - outcasts - in their families, communities, and society. They tend to have a more difficult time "fitting in" and (depending on the type of and deliverer of abuse they experienced in childhood), certain environments and experiences in adulthood can trigger them. For example, a cruel or unsympathetic boss can subtly or deliberately take advantage of a black sheep personality and reinjure them in a similar manner as they experienced in childhood.

Narcissists have a hard time hearing the word " No." They do not respect boundaries, particularly from the scapegoated person. There are psychological reasons for it, and the narcissist definitely needs psychological healing. However, it is not the scapegoat's responsibility to assuage the narcissist (as they often were taught in childhood).

To take back their personal power and set strong boundaries, the *adult scapegoat needs to say "No" to the narcissist, as difficult as it is.

(*Children & teens may be at serious risk if they counter a narcissistic parent/figure without a strong and healthy support system.)