On the Phrases in "Shame & Redemption" - Part 9

In my research for my piece, "Shame & Redemption," I discovered several people describing their childhoods as traumatic and that's where the shaming began. While trauma is now sometimes overused to describe difficult, unfavorable, or inconvenient situations, in many cases the fundamental issues faced by the people I talked to were emotional traumas.

This "Shame" block ("Raised by the Trauma family and their 3 children: Irritated, Impatient, and Disconnected") is about generational trauma that gets passed down in subtle forms. Several people I talked with indicated that the shame they experienced growing up and throughout their early lives was rooted in how unhealthy their own families were. Irritability, impatience, and disconnect were the three fundamental behaviors people faced as children that led to an emotional despair and feelings of unworth. A father who is impatient (leading, in some cases, to physical abuse) at every action or question asked, and threatened by a child's individuation, giving a subtle message of a child not worthy of care and patience. A sibling who is constantly irritated at the existence of another because they feel neglected or outcompeted for emotional resources (leading to jealousy and blame). A grandmother disconnected from the emotional needs of her children and grandchildren due to her own historical traumas. In my discussions with people, the traumas were inflicted by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, and even family friends.

The nice thing about becoming an adult is the opportunity to unshackle oneself from the traumas of the past. To redeem oneself and be free to be one's truest self. Some of the people I spoke to were able to do that by simply walking away from the provocations of family. Others were more vehement in their expressions, sometimes actively telling people to "Eff-off." Some simply grew up, while others spent years in therapy trying to overcome the shame and the hurt. The common theme was a desire to be free to be themselves, free of the trauma, free of the shame. So the "Redemption" block counters the other with the post-battle cry, "I'm Free!"